It seems every day I gain more knowledge these days. Knowledge about what makes the world so erroneous� I�m not quite sure if I can put what�s going on into a solid definition yet, but I will some day. For now, I guess I�ll just chill.

Ty wanted me to join rotc the other day, but I can�t. I couldn�t, it goes against a lot of what I believe in� plus they all seem to be such�such, er, �victims of conformity� might I say. Not enough diversity maybe? Maybe. But I really don�t want to go into it at the moment.

Ryan�Phillips� that stupid crap. For about nine weeks now, most of the people in my programming class haven�t been doing crap. We play games pretty much the whole time, right, and joke around since we haven�t the slightest clue we�re doing. It�s not that we don�t try� it�s the teacher doesn�t explain stuff real well. He says things like �If you walk through your program and watch what�s happening, you�ll understand.� Even when we do do that, we still have no idea what we�re looking at. It all looks like a bunch of numbers and gibberish, and the teach ain�t doing a thing to help us besides try to make a fool of us in front of the class.

Anyway, back to the crapper [Ryan]. I actually put effort into my last program, completing it all by myself. RYAN on the other hand, plays Nintendo the whole time and pretty much has the teacher do his program a day before it�s due. What does he get on his paper? A 70. What do I get for working my butt off? A 60. DAMMIT PHILLIPS. (Plus he was pissing everybody off today. About 50% of the class yelled at him to shut up at the same time.)

So I think I�ve given up. Forget this class, I�m changing out at the semester. I really wanted to learn to program and stuff, but I guess this class isn�t about to teach me. When I drop out, it�s going to look pretty bad considering I was the only girl.

I had an assembly today. Yeah, it sucked. I sat with the juniors again. I couldn�t believe how lame it was. They went and announced the homecoming court and whatever and had this little thing where they came down the aisle in their spooty little dresses and tuxedos. It looked stupid; you�d think they would have done something like this back in elementary school. It made me feel pretty damn small, and as if there was no hope for human kind, but whatever I survived.

Fairyland has been disgraced. Remember the bull? They stuck it in fairyland. So now our favorite chill spot has a big iron bull with blue spray painted balls. Terrific.

I�ll bet you�re wondering where Larry is. I�d tell you if I knew. I think he got left at school� whoops.

My after school class was spontaneously canceled today, so I took the bus home. I got locked out. My little brother came home an hour later and informed me of the hidden key nobody bothered to tell me about. By then it was too late to call my dad and tell him not to pick me up from school, so he�s pissed again. There was no way I could've contacted him, and no way I could've known class was to be cancled. I told him what happened and crap but he came up with some lame excuses (which I intern backed) about how I should�ve blah blah blahed and yeah, I�m goin to hell whatever.

So either way I lose.

He�s so self-centered; I fear I am growing to loath him.

Damn my family. Here�s a quote of the week:

My dad, �Lauryn, why haven�t you taken out the trash? I don�t pay you to not help out around here!�

Me, �You don�t pay me period dad.�

He hasn�t paid me allowance in about a year. He usually says something like, �Well maybe if you did your chores I�d pay you� even though I usually complete them. It�s not like I can go on strike or anything because it would only add about twenty minutes of chores on his part, and I would be the only one losing. So either way I lose.

There�s life for yeah. Just can�t win.