I love high school. I love my friends, the people, the whole experience�

But any high schooler knows that school and home are two entirely different worlds.

I hate being home. Like I�ve said, I don�t believe in hating people, but I can severely dislike them� and my family is on the top of that list. Rob, being number one. For the longest time, I denied it to myself. How can some one as young as I dislike their family? Especially one such as mine? But about a year ago I figured I�d better stop lying to myself.

I�m not going to go into a rant about why I don�t like them, for that would be quite depressing� but let us just say I have my reasons.

God I love it when Rob goes to the fire station for the whole weekend, or works late. I kind of wish that he would, like, never be around� but at the same time be around� you know what I�m saying? No of course you don�t. That didn�t even make sense.

And yet, despite all of it, I can�t help but love school. Well, not school school� but the people more. I hate teachers and books and chalk boards and learning futile things and getting up early in the morning� but I guess I like it because of interacting with the people, where as when I�m home all I want to do is sit in a quiet dark corner.

I love hanging out with friends� especially their families. When I was in middle school, I used to pretend that I was part of some one else�s family, or make up stories in my head about some other family adopting me. It�s like the love amongst them is tangible� and the best part being they get along more. It�s like I feel at peace� and that I belong.

�when all my family wants to do is get away from each other and say sarcastic obnoxious things� and gang up on each other�

They don�t know that things aren�t supposed to be like this. If I were any child, I would be running away, in trouble with the law, doing drugs, in a gang by now. And so would Tim! And my parents would deserve it! But that�s not the way it is. I can�t do all those things because I�m too smart for that, and no one taught me that. No anti-drug commercials, no ad council, no elementary school counseling, and definitely not my parents. I�m a genius. I was talking at six months old. I�m way ahead of myself in knowledge and maturity, little does anybody know, and well capable of raising myself, which I pretty much have done as you can see. And my brother- why if he weren�t the overweight, special education, less than flawless child that he is, he would be way on the wrong track as well. I worry about him sometimes�

I�m just waiting for it all to come to an end.

And the sad thing is, once Tim and I move out of the house, (if Tim ever does, that is), everything will be better. I�ll be happy, Tim�ll be happy, and my parents will be fixed again� for they were never meant to have children. It�s so obvious. It worked for the first eight years or so�but my family is broken now. And I don�t want it fixed. It can�t be fixed, because nobody is willing to change. They all think they�re right. So ignorant� and especially my father. he CAN NOT change. Just knowing him, makes that obvious.

The only thing that keeps my mind half way sane is thinking about the future, because I know love won�t destroy me like it did my family.